How interesting- have I lost the plot???

I was keen to see how Cam was today after yesterday, and they all met me in the arena again both this morning when I took them hay at 5am and tonight. She was first both times so not lost too much rapport I hope.

However, she was SUPER unconfident again, even on the ground by herself with the others before the halter came out. She attaches herself to Rafiki at Z 3 like a limpet and poor Rafiki does get cross. When Cam is confident she takes chunks out of Rafiki so poor girl doesn't really know where she stands...actually neither of them do with that relationship...

I was pondering my actions yesterday and realised that OF COURSE Cam wasn't reassured by finesse because I wasn't riding with finesse! I was putting too much pressure on and the first rule is relaxation - which I didn't have consistently...but at least we could retreat to relaxation when I'm on board, and there was a time we couldn't do that because I wouldn't have been onboard in the first place..I should have said that I meant the way "I used to ride" was PP pre-parelli. I also realised I was getting far too direct line thinking about L3 in November, and she is in charge of the timeline, not me. All I can do is help her gradually expand our comfort zone.

Today I wanted to put the saddle on and it was clear she was in no state to be down the 'scary' end of the arena, so I arranged some cones up the 'safe' end and decided to focus on confidence, relaxation at the walk, and steering (in a halter)with no reins. So thats what we did. But if she didn't bend appropariately around a cone I did bring in the carrot stick and tap her, as she kept getting distracted. Eventually we got some licking and chewing but it took a long while. Then I practiced picking up the reins for contact and dropping them, and as she was happy with that we did some sideways and turn on the hq, and some better backing. We finished the session with more confidence than she started with, and she stuck to me again. I opened the paddock gate while I went to get the feeds and she voluntarily came with me away from the others, and waited by herself then came back with me. She was VERY suspicious of the wheelbarrow in the shed - think that what was distracting her. Once she was 'past' that she was fine. All the while I was thinking again - have I got her totally wrong - how can she be so unconfident in the arena when she was fine the previous day and then circumstances change and she is fine again - but I think I am reading it right as unconfidence and she needs time...make no assumptions..

I keep thinking that I should 'switch' to Rafiki for levels as she (Rafiki) seems to be so much more confident perhaps is now the easier horse and that will progress my riding. Even the twins are more confident than Cam but they are different horsenality and have no baggage. I've been thinking maybe Cam is like Magic (same horsenality..) and very sensitive, and has trouble with past bagagge and it does resurface every so often. I know she is nowhere near the horse power of Magic, thank goodness, but challenging for my little brain....and powers of keeping calm. I should be riding Rafiki anyway and that is the only way I'll find out so I'd better get on with it. Then Cam and I can slowly progress. As I was thinking all of this I let the others out and we all sauntered out to the paddock. I went to the barn and was fiddling around and heard thunder of hooves as they flew at a gallop up the hill. Well, too my suprise when I came out there was Cam still waiting for me - calmly standing looking for me. We moseyed back to the arena and she pointed out the saddle by putting her nose on it, then asking for a carrot. We ambled up the hill (the others were out of sight) and she was very obviously waiting for me - she'd take a few steps then stop til I was with her again,then take a few more and stop again... how interesting...in a weird way the session seems to have built rapport but time will tell - she has just reminded me there is NO point in hurrying her or putting goals before principles....

So I need to re-think - maybe I won't be doing L3 in November!!

well done anyone thats read this far - sorry I had to get it all out of my brain - off to watch a video and try and see what I've been missing in RBI...